by L.M.Rye » Mon Oct 24, 2005 3:19 am
Very provocative discussion, and I think all parties have offered commendable insight and questions. I wouldn't presume to offer the following long post if I weren't long-winded to begin with and if I didn't believe I have something to offer, so, here goes....
I am new to the proper practice of qigong, in the sense that I have only recently undertaken the study of it through Dr. Yang's books and before this had experienced and studied only what I came upon accidentally, in search of mysteries and explanations. I am sorry that I must make my debut on YMAA's school web site with such a post, revealing all of my mistakes and pitiful self-indulgences, but while I realize that such an admission may make further explanations necessary, I do so to properly preface the following statements, so please bear with me.
I have damaged myself through psychotropic experimentation, though I am not certain the damage is permanent or impermanent, and I don't believe the evaluation is mine to make. It is equally true, however, that many people damage themselves similarly simply by eating to excess. What the body intakes and processes has as profound an effect on perception as on physical dimension or capability. This indicates to me that perception is not the root of being, but an effect. My experience with perception-altering substances has invariably led me to a single fact: when perception changes, awareness stays the same, and only grows or shrinks in magnitude.
In many ways, the fear of damage can lead to the perception of damage, which can contribute to actual damage. I must say this although I have no way of proving how this is apparent to me.
A question I have carried with me since the beginning of my days of substance experimentation and exploration of my own qi is: what is the nervous system? Beyond what has been deduced and what is visible in a cadaver, what is the nervous system? To a child, this is a silly question, but I think it is very important to approach some fundamental questions with what has been called, the Beginner's Mind. The nervous system exhibits certain clearly identifiable properties, but its nature is mysterious and each person one asks will invariably give a slightly different answer to the question of what it is. Perhaps then, the answer of what it is is not important, or perhaps the answer is a mirror of the person asking it, and in that way the answer has importance.
Those familiar with Zen would perhaps, at this point, tip over a bucket or rap me on my head with a stick.
To close, I think it can be useful to expose the movement of awareness, and the flow of qi, through the use of substances such as psychotropics. But it is much more important, in my estimation, to do so without the aid of these substances because the movement of qi exists in living beings without the introduction of these substances, and to utilize them only emphasizes the use of substances and not the flow of qi.
For the record, my favorite Zen koan is the one which asks,
"What was your original face?"
Thanks for your patience, and, as is said in yoga,
Namasté (I bow to you)