by Inga » Sun Dec 30, 2012 10:36 am
This started out to my thinking as a very constructive thread. Meeting people over the internet is not so different to meeting people in person – if there is intent to deceive, it can be managed in either arena. Perhaps it’s easier online, one can put up a picture that is not them, but people can wear toupees, wigs, makeup – they can lie about where they are from, what they do. Some people live bigamist lives with both families unknowing. Some people build up what appears to be a ‘solid’ exterior but what dwells inside is completely the opposite.
I do not understand why things degenerated into calling meditation a form of witchcraft, and Pete telling John “I doubt you understand…” I think that’s quite rude. If someone does not find comfort or even validity in a practice or faith, well that’s our individual choice and right. But on this forum, we do not like ridicule. If someone wants to explain why they don’t support or believe something, based on their experience, and they want a discussion on it – to challenge someone to change their mind or to hope to ‘convert’ someone to their way of thinking, well, okay. One could even say a statement like “Meditation is a form of witchcraft” could be a discussion – it if could be presented without mocking undertones. Dvivid has just recently locked other threads where people were not engaging in the type of respectful interaction we require here. I have heard complaints from some that other forums allow ‘anything goes’ and we should ‘relax’ but we would rather keep our format and have those unhappy with it seek those forums. Trimax updated our site policy recently and as he points out “…do not make ad hominem attacks…be careful with exaggerations and don't assume that there's only one truth...”
It’s interesting to me that what started out as a “Negative Thinking” thread with Sanfung feeling supported by answers which were useful has turned into people expressing negative thoughts, about how people who meditate are fooling themselves with illusion and one member doubting another member’s ability to grasp concepts. I personally don’t see how if you’ve not been raised with something it can’t be learned at a later time in our lives. People learn new languages, music, other skills which were not passed on by parents or family. If we learn taiji as a young (or even old) adult in the West from an instructor rather than in China from Chinese parents from a tender age does it mean it’s not ‘real’? Somewhere the lineage has to start – if not with the parents, than with the child. If meditation is not something to be embraced, so be it, if it doesn’t hold interest for you, or it’s not something you’ve worked on to make progress with (and it does take practice, like learning language, or martial arts) you have that right of course and indeed can express your opinion that for you it’s not useful. But there are millions around the globe who do use it to great effect, and have done so for centuries.
Sanfung, I agree with many who posted already on this, that negative thoughts can’t be eliminated, it’s part of the human condition, autistic or otherwise, however what you do with those thoughts, that is where you can take control. Trying to merely ignore them is hard, I agree, and hoping they’ll just go away definitely does not work. I know people close to me with this issue, and they work on acknowledging them when they come, and then ‘letting them go’. One person I know reinforces this with a physical action – a long, slow exhale which for them symbolizing pushing away the thought. Another person I know works to balance it – so for each gloomy, bad or angry (or paranoid) thought that arrives, they make an effort to think of something uplifting or good that is going on, or that might happen. I think to make you feel better, you should seek to have control of your responses, to the best of your ability, rather than hope to stem the source. I don’t know what method will work for you, with experimentation I hope you will discover it. I’ve heard of writing them down on slips of paper and burning them. I thought the ‘sincere fakery’ was interesting, I’m sure that can be used by some people. I use a combination of breath and counter positive thought. Yin/Yang. Balance. For me, after awhile it becomes a habit, not so much something I need to remember to do. Taking the fight of it might make you feel better prepared to have the energy to deal what with comes. Most of all I would say to you Sanfung that I believe most people are at heart seeking acceptance in some way, shape or form. You are definitely not alone. Good luck with your training, and with your journey to conquer yourself – most people on this forum are pursuing similar goals. I think Joeblast said it well with “one thing to remember is happiness is a choice - we are in control of our own awareness, and "your focus determines your reality"”
And for now, I am closing this thread to avoid further descent into negativity. As we go into the New Year I would ask again that all members be respectful of diversity in all forms, including thought. May we practice patience and mindfulness. Perhaps a new thread might arise on meditation practice, or Sanfung I hope you will let us know your positive thought progress over time. I wish everyone a happy, healthy and prosperous 2013!
Ancora Imparo