depression/unbalance & meditation

[carissa]

Since I've started practicing qigong, I've gone through quite an emotional rollercoaster. In the beginning, I remember thinking that it was due to bad chi being circulated or something like that. At this point I have come to realize that it is just my life...going through some crazy stuff - separation from my husband, overload with work and school, working on my masters thesis, etc... Couple that with my pseudo ADHD/bipolar(??)personality, and we've got a big mess on our hands! Anyway, I have been trying to "balance" myself with qigong meditation, mostly embryonic breathing now... (i went a little "gung ho" in the beginning, but not anymore).

Anyway, I read all the posts for the Emotional Mind but it mostly touched on how food plays a role in emotion. I just wonder if there is any meditation techniques that could help me to mitigate my depression/mood swings?

One other thing. I've read that during meditation you are supposed to "empty your mind", focus on breathing, etc. But my mind runs a million miles an hour, so it's quite the challenge to do that. I have been learning a bit about the Buddhist principals that have you look at your suffering, face it... and practice loving-kindness, etc. They tell me that if a thought comes to my mind, that I should try to breathe in the bad stuff associated with it and breathe out loving-kindness for whoever or whatever the thought has to do with. I don't know. So, bottom line, I'm confused about whether I should be thinking about/dealing with my issues during meditation or trying to ignore them/put them aside.

Thank you for listening. If anyone has any thoughts or experiences with this, I would really appreciate feedback & direction.

[SunTzu]

Whenever your negative emotions/feelings get the upperhand you could try this age old WESTERN Qigong exercise :

Relax and slowly count to ten (or ten thousand, just as many as necessary), and concentrate on the breath and the counting.
After the counting, that particular emotion shouldn't still be actively present.

If that doesn't help, try to concentrate on the opposite (the positive) emotion. Like anger vs happiness; sorrow vs joy etc.

[Dvivid]

The Eastern traditions teach the same thing.

Its the old 'Horse mind/ Monkey mind" story. Your Horse mind is the wisdom mind - your higher consciousness, which is absolutely truthful and connected to nature.

Your Monkey mind is the emotional mind, which is everything you've piled into your brain since birth, filtered through opinions, emotional injuries, insecurity, stress and how you cope with it, etc. These things are all real troubles in daily life, but in the grand scope of existence, they matter very little. How much will your stress matter when the Sun explodes and the Earth eveaporates? This will happen one day, and everything we ever did will be erased. And 4 billion years sooner than that, each of us will die. What is truly important, when you consider your mortality and the impermanence of everything?

Happiness, health, and helping others find the same.

Its a simple choice. Be happy, healthy, and help others now. Why wait? The moment you decide that is what your life is like, it will be.

People who believe "I am a healthy person. I don't get sick often." become healthy and don't get sick often. "Im strong and positive, and everything works out the way I want." And then it does.

Some will say "easier said than done." Only if you think that way. If you have no doubt, then your life is what you decide it is. Believe that you can manifest your life into exactly what it is that you want.

(Uh oh! That means you have to decide what you want your life to be!)

Resolve the issues that you encounter, no matter how difficult, with a positive attitude, and believe that things are always getting better for you.

So...the monkey mind is always jumping from topic to topic a million miles an hour, stealing your attention, and distracting you from EVERYTHING you try to focus on.

Breathing is a banana. Give the monkey mind a banana by focusing entirely on only the breath, moving in and out - slowly, quiety, deeply, and continuously, through the nose. Relax. Listen to the sound of your breath. Look straight ahead with your eyes and focus on a point, or at the wall, or at a candle flame. And breathe.

Every time the monkey mind steals your attention, start over. Breathe. Focus entirely on that. Its just dicipline, like anything else.

Don't be lazy. Discipline requires practice, daily. Every time you begin to get upset, or stressed, or bored is an opportunity to train.

Once you have that, all the other things you mentioned will be resolved EASILY. You will be able to remain objective, calm, rational, and relaxed, no matter what situation you're in, and whatever stress you're facing.

If you still have trouble, you can start disciplining your mind by counting the breath as it slowly moves in and out...1,2,3,4,5,6,7...1,2,3,4,5,6,7...

Or add a slight sound to your breath, and listen intently to it...

Peace.

[carissa]

Thank you SO much! [hug]

[joeblast]

good reply, D...but the sun isnt massive enough to explode I think its got another 3 billion or so before it exhausts its hyrogen & heluim, it will probably only be hot enough to burn carbon, which will make it a red giant with a circumference beyond the earth's current orbit (~5bn yrs.) so we either gotta drag the planet out by the time its luminosity get high enough to fry us, or...move to another location. once its exhausted the carbon, it will shrink to a white dwarf size (~8-10bn) and cool off for a while...

[carissa]

joeblast, you are CRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAZY!!!!!

[joeblast]

like a fox but its all relative!

[Dvivid]

Yes, I was being dramatic, but then one never knows. It is likely, based on its relatively-small size, that our little star will instead expand slowly until it encompasses the Earth. This most certainly will be pre-dated by solar events on a massive scale however, which MAY be enough to fry all life on Earth, so I suggest this may motivate us to re-examine the definition of ' the exploding sun.'

[joeblast]

its a pretty sure bet, given the mass & composition of the sun. I'm kinda ticked, I just went to look for one of my good books on the subject of stellar evolution but I couldnt find it. basically, the mass of the star determines its life - the more mass, the hotter and quicker it burns, the heavier the elements it can use for fusion - up to lead, at which point fusion requires more energy to keep it up than it puts out, resulting in a gravitational collapse of some sort.

hmmm, I kinda took this thread off topic. physics is fun, though

[Dvivid]

And in fact, sooner than that, in under 3 billion years or so, the milky way galaxy will be colliding with Andromeda. That should provide all kinds of fun new ways to incinerate the Earth.

[joeblast]

Very true...although actual collisions will be relatively rare, as I understand, from a stellar perspective. Mostly lots of gravitational interactions, as both galaxies deform and reshape over a couple hundred million years to end up in a quasi-elliptical shape with likely plenty of satellite galaxies (akin to the magellanic clouds that orbit the milky way currently.) I can imagine there would end up being a good amount of binary and trinary star systems resulting from all of that. I wonder how that would affect qi cultivation? I'm reading The Yellow Emperor's Classic of Medicine right now and so far there is a lot on seasons and harmonizing with nature, all pretty much suited for our situation here on earth. Seasons would certainly be different if the solar system were sufficiently altered!

heck, I'd like to be around to witness the combination of the supermassive black holes that are at the centers of our galaxies right now!

I think locally our biggest issue would be how to make sure to keep asteroids and comets away from inhabited planets...but then again, imagining the technology we'll have by then it may just be a non-issue

[jfraser]

Last edited on 4/11/07 when it is not so late at night, and I am more sane.

Another way if it appeals to you: Sit, spine straight, comfortable, close eyes, or semi-open as D. suggests, and the focus of mind is on letting go of each thought, body sensation, etc., as it arises, arriving in your body/mind/spirit at stillness. Stay with this stillness. Gradually your thoughts, etc. will have decreased, leading to this stillness. This stillness along with also letting go of all desires, leads to long life and vitality of the mind, body and soul. Whatever happens, stay with the stillness. Yang chi will rise inside, over time, as your practice, and let it follow its own intelligence and direction, and as it does, stay with the stillness, and let it heal whatever needs to be healed. Don't try to control anything, just be this stillness and let go of all desires, moment to moment.

Also, the Zen monk Thich Nhat Hahn's small and well written books may be useful to you, such as, Breath! You Are Alive!. You can buy them used on line. He personally knows about letting go of great suffering.

James

[jfraser]

Carrisa,

My experience is that you have to experiment to find what methods fit you. Each of the methods you mention work for some people and not others.
I tend to do better with methods of letting go off, rather than facing my deep stuck places and problems. Sometimes I find myself in a corner, and have to face some of my issues. You need to find what works for you. Facing can lead to feeling more overwhelmed, for some people. It does not sound like you need to feel more overwhelmed, is that right? And one method will not work for the rest of your life, and as you change, maybe you will need to change methods of meditation, etc.

I do question your doing Embryonic Breathing and having Bi-polar symptoms.
I would guess this may add to your mood swings, I am not sure. You might be safer and calmer with what Dr, Yang calls Buddhist Breathing, or normal deep and even belly breathing. I don't know you, so this is not professional advise. This questioning comes from some concern based on your initial post on this subject. The choice is really yours.

The following may be useful to you :

"Elicitation of the relaxation response is actually quite easy. There are two essential steps:
1.

Repetition of a word, sound, phrase, prayer, or muscular activity.

2.

Passive disregard of everyday thoughts that inevitably come to mind and the return to your repetition.

The following is the generic technique taught at the Benson-Henry Institute:
1.

Pick a focus word, short phrase, or prayer that is firmly rooted in your belief system, such as "one," "peace," "The Lord is my shepherd," "Hail Mary full of grace," or "shalom."

2.

Sit quietly in a comfortable position.

3.

Close your eyes.

4.

Relax your muscles, progressing from your feet to your calves, thighs, abdomen, shoulders, head, and neck.

5.

Breathe slowly and naturally, and as you do, say your focus word, sound, phrase, or prayer silently to yourself as you exhale.

6.

Assume a passive attitude. Don't worry about how well you're doing. When other thoughts come to mind, simply say to yourself, "Oh well," and gently return to your repetition.

7.

Continue for ten to 20 minutes.

8.

Do not stand immediately. Continue sitting quietly for a minute or so, allowing other thoughts to return. Then open your eyes and sit for another minute before rising.

9.

Practice the technique once or twice daily. Good times to do so are before breakfast and before dinner.
Regular elicitation of the relaxation response has been scientifically proven to be an effective treatment for a wide range of stress-related disorders. In fact, to the extent that any disease is caused or made worse by stress, the relaxation response can help.
Other techniques for evoking the relaxation response are:

Imagery


Progressive muscle relaxation


Repetitive prayer


Mindfulness meditation


Repetitive physical exercises


Breath focus

You may want to try more than one technique to find the one that suits you best. Our relaxation CDs and tapes and exercises in managing stress can assist you. "

[jfraser]

Carrisa,

Sometimes I don't look before I leap, or think before I open my mouth. I have learned more about the practice I described to you (see quote below):

Another way if it appeals to you: Sit, spine straight, comfortable, close eyes, or semi-open as D. suggests, and the focus of mind is on letting go of each thought, body sensation, etc., as it arises, arriving in your body/mind/spirit at stillness. Stay with this stillness. Gradually your thoughts, etc. will have decreased, leading to this stillness. This stillness along with also letting go of all desires, leads to long life and vitality of the mind, body and soul. Whatever happens, stay with the stillness. Yang chi will rise inside, over time, as your practice, and let it follow its own intelligence and direction, and as it does, stay with the stillness, and let it heal whatever needs to be healed. Don't try to control anything, just be this stillness and let go of all desires, moment to moment.

I have learned recently that the above method has it dangers, and should not be practiced without an experienced and knowledgeable master of this method. So, I do not recommend this to you.


The Relaxation Response I put on another post on his subject, has no hazards, and may be useful to you. And it has scientific support.

James

[carissa]

Thanks jfraser!! I appreciate your feedback! I think you are right about there being a possible problem with the embryonic breating & bi-polar thing... I am sorry to say that I think that my interest in Qigong really set me off (so to speak) on an emotional rollercoaster.

I keep hearing people say that they don't understand what can happen if you practice incorrectly. I am just now in a place where my head is clear and I can see what the past couple months of Qigong practice did to me.

I HURT MYSELF. I went gung ho and was trying out a whole bunch of things that I probably shouldn't have been messing around with. For example, my friend got this little electric shocker thing that is supposed to open your energy gates (works like acupuncture)...so I proceeded to turn it to the highest shock frequency and use it to try to unblock the knots in my neck. I immediately felt intoxicated and tingly, especially in one part of my brain...I wasn't the same for a long time after that. I also tried all these different exercises - really whatever I could get my hands on...

The point is that I went waaaaay overboard, and I think I caused an emotional imbalance in myself which set me off on a coo-coo trip for about 2-3 months.

I have not practiced/looked at anything Qigong related for about a month and am finally getting back to "normal" (meaning no depression, psychosis, mania).

I hope this helps other newbies...! Just take it slow and trust those that are more experienced than you!!! They know what they are talking about!

[joeblast]

That's an excellent reason to have a master (and to follow given instructions!) That's also why I read books for practically a whole year before I really started practicing....but just as much, it took some deeper understanding of the subject before I got motivated to try much of it...I had to understand what, why, and how before proceeding.

Carissa, you should perhaps get some instruction and do a bunch of reading if you decide to start practicing again...or read, ponder, understand before resuming. Dr Yang said that the theory is relatively easy to understand, its just the dilligence in practice that is tough!

[jfraser]

Carrisa,
I am glad you are feeling better, and "back on track".
An additional guess is that Embryonic Breathing and thoughts and feelings related to more advanced Qigong practice could lead to an increase in grandiose thinking and "mania". That is, thoughts and expectations of unlimited energy and power.

Maybe I am wrong here, just a wild guess.

As far as I know, your cannot go wrong with the Relaxation Response, and/or Dr. Yang's Book and DVD on the "8 Pieces of Brocade" qigong practice, used,
of course, in moderation.

As stated by Joeblast, anything else needs a knowledgeable and very experienced teacher.

Stay in the center and stay strong,

James

[Dvivid]

An interesting aside: I spoke recently w Master yang about "chemical imbalances" and the psychoactive drugs associated. In the west we typically view that a person has a chemical imbalance which makes their minds chaotic and makes them have emotional disturbance.

But, the traditional Chinese view of this subject is the exact opposite: your chaotic mind creates a chemical imbalance. It stems from a lack of mental self-discipline, and a lack of being centered and grounded in reality.

A quick way to develop self-discipline, and get centered and grounded in reality is observing the breath. Sit upright comfortably, relax and focus your complete attention on breathing slowly, deeply, quietly and continuously. The Qi will circulate naturally as needed.

This is the first step in a serious practice of Qigong. Without this foundation, you're asking for trouble, both mentally and physically.

Be positive! Raise your awareness. Decide now to be a centered, rooted, and healthy person.

Lao Tzu said: "If I don't want to do something, everything is difficult. If I do want to do it, everything is easy."

[joeblast]

How about chemical imbalances as side effects of stress and...emotional overload, of sorts?
A friend of mine grew up in a chaotic household with 3 other brothers and he basically had a very stressful upbringing (I've heard plenty of good stories about 'the stick!') He ended up with a metabolism a bodybuilder would kill for and then some (not to mention being like 6'5 220) - he takes supplements, mostly herbal, to balance his system out. Ended up having to learn a ton about endocrinology in the process because he wanted to have an understanding of what he was doing...funny nowadays he can tell when his testosterone, estradiol, prolactin levels..or other stuff...are too high or low. (small nutshell)

I've told him that he shouldnt have to take supplements forever if he tries to take care of it right. He's got a mild interest in qigong but hasnt really practiced enough to see much benefit so far. I think a regimen of proper working out, moving qigong, and meditation should be able to balance this out for him - he knows what feeling normal is like, he knows what not normal in a variety of ways is like - do you think he would need to reach a very profound level of practice before being able to balance something like that?

[carissa]

JB, aren't testosterone, estradiol, etc. hormones?? I don't know if that is the same thing as seratonin and norepinephrin...? Do you recommend qigong as a supplement to medicine or a replacement for it?