A lesson learned

[Balloo]

Hello, my name is James. For the longest time I have had a problem committing to a martial way for myself because I kept seeing new styles and thinking they were better in a fight. I just want to share with you a story I wrote if I may. This story reflects what happened in my life, and how I solved this problem. Could you kindly tell me what you think of it?

A student came to his teacher once and told him something was troubling him. His teacher asked what was on his mind. The student told his master that every time he sparred he did not think he was good enough. He told the master every time he was beaten by a student of another style he switched to that style because he thought it was better in a fight, He said he wanted to be a good fighter, but he kept hopping to different arts, and he could never practice long enough to get good at any one style. The master replied, the wish to become a good fighter is not an ignoble one, unless you wish merely to hurt others." The student insisted that was not the case. So the master thought for a moment and said, ¨I fought with this same dilemma when I was your age.¨ I will offer you two thoughts to ponder. Please take the time to seriously ponder these questions...take time for yourself, or take a walk, whatever you like to do, but please think very hard on these thoughts. My first thought is this: If you want to be a good fighter, and use this skill to help others, why do you not join the army, or the marines? Both of these areas teach you the martial arts, and allow you to help others in less time, and a more direct way than the martial arts. So why not join the military?...there was a long pause in which the student said nothing. Then he looked at the master, and the master continued. This leads me to believe there is something more to your quest than martial skill. This leads me to my second thought: When you see these warriors with different training, what makes them different from other students? What is it that allows them to win their fights? I guess what I am really asking is what is it that motivates them to train harder, and longer than other students? The student looked at the master and thought for a moment. ¨I do not know master.¨ The master replied, the difference my student is heart. Their heart is in their training, such that when they train they do not see their training as work, their spirit is expressed in their training, so rather than work they see it as more of a spiritual release. That, my student is the difference. They are expressing what is in their hearts through their training.¨ So my advice when you are unsure of which art to practice is simply this: Follow your heart to the place where your practice becomes an expression of your spirit, and you will always be free.¨
James Slieter
11-14-08

[Inga]

Thank you for sharing your story James. I am glad you have found peace on your path. And I agree that balance, in one’s heart or essence is very important. The mind can be such a busy place, finding center is often difficult. I began training kung fu at a very late age, 37. I saw my son taking classes, and as I watched him learn his basic stances and first sequences I recalled the years I studied karate as a teen. I remembered how much confidence it gave me, I was a loner, an awkward teen who had few friends and seemed to always be doing things differently. I can be stubborn too (still am) and the more I felt I was being pressured in high school to be “prep” the more I sought to be the opposite – painting my nails orange or black, wearing my mother’s clothes from the 1950/60s, being the only girl to join computer club, generally finding myself in places I probably shouldn’t have been. Starting karate was a good move for me. I put on my gi and suddenly I was amongst peers, even tho (again) I was the only girl in the class and one of the few teens. I was not allowed to spar, as most of the students were large men, and my sensei was concerned – I wonder now who he was protecting – me from their power or them from my unpredictability. Mayhap both. Being excluded did not bother me so much – I had discovered an environment in which I began to thrive. Meditation, the sequences, the training on heavy bag, all of it was new and exciting. I was encouraged to push myself, and grow. I loved it. Fast forward to the present, again martial arts had returned to me. After watching my son for three months I signed up for the adult class. I was not overweight, but inflexible and unfit. I was not the only female, but most of the students were younger and very experienced. The advantage of course is having so many examples to observe, and often assist, the difficulty was feeling out of depth. And I was in the deep end. It took me a year to be able to doggy paddle. But that stubbornness can come in handy, and I did not give up. Some days I felt insane, but I had found a place where I could solace (going through a divorce) and hope. I needed to stop thinking how I had failed in my marriage, I was saturated with sorrow, I had to start thinking about how I could move forward. Everyone was supportive, one friend in particular constantly reminded me to keep my chin up, and assured me everything would be alright. He was correct. My healing process turned into a journey for life, one I will never forsake. It has lead to becoming stronger in my mind, in my body and finally achieving a calm. And now I train on a new level, I still work to improve, but I also seek to grasp connections, to deepen my understanding. I will never be a kung fu master, but kung fu helps me master myself.

[Balloo]

Thank you as well for your story. Iḿ sure i will re-read it many times during my training as well to keep delving deeper. Thank you for your inspiration, as it will now inspire me for many years.